Pain

Pain, my friend, you are here again

You leave me for a while and then return

In deeper waves you keep me trapped

A huge part of me now

As my life energy has sapped.

My life, my work, my ideas and leisure

You never leave me but offer

Your loyal, unwanted, constant pressure.

There was a time long ago

When you were far away

I scarce thought of you when I went out to play.

Except I would fall and to mother run and cry

“There, there” she would say

“Pain will go by and by”

Yet you returned in different ways.

As I grew, I learnt of you

Found out how a broken heart always

Can destroy more than a physical blow.

Your hidden weapons destroying more than skin and bone

My very being left bereft

At the pain of being alone

Knowing how you stay with others is some comfort but still

Images, words contact from family, friends and media

Can dull or exacerbate my feelings now

You never leave me

And even in dreams you take your bow.

Sometimes your tsunami

Leaves me suffocated and helpless

Floating alone in a dark and deep sea

My mind trapped and despairing

In this weak and struggling body

That medicine cannot yet cure

Although drugs may help

At other times I struggle to be rid of you in my mind

Look to therapy, meditation and mindfulness to ensure

You leave me

Yet to date I don’t succeed completely.

Pain, now I know,

My constant companion,

From youth to old age

You are part of my life.

Every step on the way you were there

Hiding behind joy and gladness

Waiting to step forward

Yet still I survive.

Although I struggle and am weak and alone,

You no longer dominate me

I am alive and in my way I still strive.

I feel you, pain, but I also feel joy and glee

Pain you will never, ever, ever,

Conquer me.